Government Money and Other Riches

Tis the season of government money.  Since our kids and house gave us a nice tax return, we decided to give something back.  The house gets the biggest cut for the backyard it so dearly wants.  The kids get a piece too.  We let them split $100... that's $33.33 each, and the extra penny is for me.  Noah has been obsessing about the latest Lego sets and set his hopes high.  He was the only child disappointed with the size of the tax payout.  He has really been trying to find other ways to raise the money for the dojo set that he longs for... yet another way that Legos encourage creativity.

Last week, an unexpected turn of events brightened his outlook.  The librarian at school pulled him aside and told him that someone wanted to buy his habitat box for "20 bucks!" (yes, the one from two posts ago--same, same).  Again, we pulled out a parent intervention to help him understand that sometimes people, yes even adults, will say something like that, but they are not really offering money for kids' school projects.  For the next two days, Noah wrestled with whether or not to sell his elephant to the unknown buyer.  He and a friend Em.. started plans for a new business molding elephants and other animals to sell to other adults who might pay $20 for each item.  Em.. has learned to crochet this winter and she started making crochet bags to put the elephants in.  We hoped that reality wouldn't hurt our dreamer too bad.    By Thursday, Noah was back in the library to tell the librarian that he would be willing to sell his creation.  Friday afternoon, Mrs. S caught up with us at the Dads, Doughnuts and Dr. Seuss reading to make sure it was ok with me that Noah was selling her the elephant.  After my consent, she pulled out a $20 bill and went to the library to collect her elephant.  She told me that originally Noah told her that the elephant was $20 and the box for it to live in was another $30.  When she only wanted the elephant because the box was too expensive, he decided to give her a deal and let her have the box for free.  She is adding it to the elephant collection in her home.  Well, reality has a way of living up to Noah's expectations more often than I can believe is possible.  

Pi

Last month, Ben checked out a book of random math trivia from the school library.  He came home one day muttering.  I asked him what he was talking about and he handed me the book.  It was open to a page about pi. "Look, I memorized it, Mom."  OK.  He proceeded to rattle off some 37 digits of pi.  Wow, that's a good memory.  Jeff was even more astonished.

The next day at school, others were not so impressed.  They proceeded to tell him that he was dumb, probably wouldn't finish high school.  Why?  Because Einstein knew pi and he never finished high school.  Really?  We did our parental damage control and Jeff challenged him to memorize 50 digits.  They made a card to fit in his  wallet, so he could practice.  If you're going to make one card, you may as well make 8 and laminate a few to prevent that dog eared look.  In no time at all, several other kids were memorizing pi, writing pi on their dirty minivans and spouting digits to anyone who would listen.  It may just be a fad, but the trend really took off-- I hope the high school graduation rate doesn't suffer.

100 Daze

If December is hands-down the busiest month of the year, I would like to nominate February for a close second place.  It seems we jammed so many "holidays" in that we had a hodge podge of decor and directions. First there was the holiday that mainly parents with a newish mortgage and mulitple children can really celebrate-- Tax Day.   As a change of pace this year, I tried to pace myself and wait a little longer than usual.  Well, I couldn't help myself  and parked on the computer to "just get started and gather the paperwork."  By 12:30am, I was doing my "let's go on a vacation" dance, which is only because it was dark outside and I couldn't see the dreary wasteland that is our backyard.  Oh well, maybe if we start early, we can camp back there this summer.
With the taxes done, I was ready for some old-fashioned parent involvement.  We started with Noah's Animal Report.  He chose the African Elephant.  The teachers have the kids do all the research and writing of the report during class, we only had to build an habitat box displaying his animal.  He made his own elephant from clay and this is the finished project:

Yes, that is the sun setting over the Savannah and the elephant is stripping bark from that Acadia Tree. 
As you can see it was truly a work of art, perfect for adorning the school library.

Next holiday up.... THE 100TH DAY OF SCHOOL.  I think a party is in order.  Each K-2 kid was supposed to make a poster with 100 things.  Our family's favorite was Mrs. Willcocks-- she posted 100 identical pictures of Mr. Brad (her husband).  Caitlyn and I worked feverishly to cut 100 ladybugs for her poster.  Here is her finished product.  I got to go to class for the big party and there were hundreds of things to do.  Luckily for me, I landed a spot at the treat sorting station for a while.

Whew... yes friends, we did all that on a Thursday afternoon.  While I was basking in the Kool-Aid mommyness of it all, there was a very mediocre dinner and a giant headache, but I did sleep very well that night.

You might suspect the usual holidays loomed.  By Friday, we were all on to Valentines and more parties-- and sugar.  We made tons of cookies and treats to add to all the tasty classroom sugar  we were anticipating.  By the time Valentines rolled around, we were sick of cookies-- we'll try again for St. Patrick's Day.

After Valentine's, it was the school science fair.  Suspecting that this was not required by Ben's teacher, his mother encouraged him to participate-- STRONGLY.  He decided to study gum.  Yes, what is better than combining science with something a kid can really love.  We tested different brands of fruity gum to see which flavor lasted the longest.  We chewed and chewed and chewed until our jaws were sore.  Well more me than the kiddies, I am out of shape in that respect.  It was really fun to see the results that we came up with(If you are into fruity gum, go for the Trident Layers-- it lasted a full hour longer than regular Trident and a bunch of other brands).  I had to really hold back from suggesting we do a cost & weight analysis, talk to a food chemist and a bunch of over the top extras-- who knew that moms want to do science too?  I will put a mom science fair on my list (with scout requirements) of things moms would have fun with. There were a lot of amazing projects at the fair and Ben was selected to go to district competition.


District was held at the high school and let's be honest there is something about being at the high school when you are a kids that makes you feel-- BIG.  I really can't believe some of the science -- real science-- that we saw at the fair.  There were calorimetry experiments and genetics-- by the 5th and 6th graders, WOW.   Ben's poster looked good and he must have interviewed well because he was chosen to go the Regional Science fair.  Viva GUM!   We all enjoyed the fair and went to get ice cream with Gma & Gpa afterwards.  It was fun and exhausting--Cait fell asleep on Gma's lap, at the ice cream shop.

There was President's Day , when we talked about airplanes and our cousins going to Chile more than presidents. With no school, our grandma came and played for the afternoon to keep her mind off planes and and airports and such.

Last, but not least was the ramping up for the elementary school favorite.... Dr. Seuss's birthday.  We have read every Dr. Seuss that we own several times and celebrated heartily when we found the lost copy we just paid for at the library.  Should be enough there for a couple months of overdue books.  I love benefiting the community with my forgetful brain.  Happy February!

The Hills Are Alive

After a bookish jaunt on the Alm with Heidi and company this past week, Jeff and I went to Midway to stay at the Swiss themed Zermatt resort.  We had such fun eating pizza on Main Street; surrounded by a few tipsy customers and hilarious waitresses, driving through the misty hills, giggling at the knickers on the valets and watching the rain torrent down outside our room.  If you love all things swiss, this is definitely a great destination.  In the morning, we took a walk/scoot around the grounds and took pictures of the local wildlife--goats.  Two managed to escape their enclosure, I guess the bark on the outside is tastier.  The hills are still so green, I can hardly believe this is Utah in August.  It is no wonder that the Swiss immigrants settled here, its a small scale Alpine beauty.  On one side of the gazebo, we found the haunt of the "daughters of the terrible thing," a mossy bottomed pool, just as in my favorite story of Fearnot(Check out Jim Henson's Storyteller series, a collection of old folklore and fairy stories brought to life-- the library has it).

We had pastries at the bakery and headed off to Park City in search of some navy blue shoes for Caitlyn's skinny feet and some work shirts for Jeff.  I am not sure why we decided to start at the bottom and work our way up, but I sure got a workout.  It's funny, people treat me so much more normal on the scooter than when I use any other implement to get around.  Maybe it is because I look more athletic and svelte.  Ok. Svelte is a stretch, but at least I am at eye level and that's easier for others.  
In probably at least 25 years, I have missed Swiss Days in Midway only 4 times.  Once, missing Swiss Days as a grown adult, my parents called from the park grounds and I teared up just hearing the yodeling in the background.  My parents took us every year as kiddies and when I got older, I chose it every year as what I wanted to do for my birthday.  I still remember getting my first real purse one year and buying a custom-made button pin with my name on it for the purple bolster shaped tote. That was when I was still eating the giant scones.  This year will add to the total of missed festivals.  Death by the craft-crazed doesn't sound all that appealing for some reason.  I will miss it, but Zermatt and Heidi gave me a good fix for the year.   I usually don't buy anything (call it a case of "I could make that"or "they want how much for that?") but I love to walk around, sample a grilled ham and swiss, visit the Relief Society bakery tent, grin at the Swiss Miss royalty, and hear my favorite yodeler, Kerry Christensen.  Really, if you are there this upcoming weekend, pay attention-- you will be stunned at how a human can make those sounds and melodies, with a male voice no less.  So, for my birthday, I will part with tradition, find my yodeler on YouTube and finish the project I vowed to make on my own from last year's festival.

My New Wheels: Forays Made Easy

Learn more about the Roll About Knee WalkerThat's right baby, this hot little number is speedy fast, especially down a carpeted hallway.   Good:  I can steer and scoot, I will work some of those sedentary muscle groups, and mostly I look more like an athlete.  Bad:  Mine does not have a basket, so I wear a backpack from the old days-- then I look a little more like an athlete,  the turning radius just a little too big, so I make many 8 point turns, and mostly my poor atrophy knee cries out at actually being used for something like holding me up.  So, now I think I have achieved the height of ambulatory devices:  wheelchair, scooter, walker (2), and crutches.  It makes it easier to accommodate those whining muscle groups and keep my sore self guessing as to balance and speed.

My first trip on this sweet ride was to Old Navy with the rest of Provo and Orem to get my hands on some $10 jeans.  Both of my boys grew like weeds this summer.  Cait grew, but in her usual "who knew?" way.  I guess we will be sticking to the same 4T jeans as last year. It was nice to have a place to sit in the middle of the frenzy.  I couldn't get close, so my mom and kids just brought their finds to where I was parked safely outside the danger zone.

Trip 2 was to the mall.  This thing is the way to go with a crowd.  In a wheelchair, people often forget to see me because I am only 4ft tall.  With the scooter, I can rise to my full 5'3" stature and be seen.  This was especially useful because we were on a time sensitive mission.  I got an email from Shade Clothing Corporate that they shutting down their business for an undefined duration.  Aggghhh, I am in no shape to shop for clothes (on so many levels).  I knew that there was a denim skirt destined for my closet and I raced to the website to find that it had been slashed from $42.50 to $16.99.  SCORE!!!  I must have said skirt.  However, Shade is always too tight and I didn't know whether to order the size that my jeans say or a size larger like the logical part of my brain opted.  I had to try the sucker on.  The mall is tiled,which means lots of  bumps, requiring focus and nerves of steel to navigate.  Luckily, we used the secret entrance to the mall and were there without many crowds.  Shade stores are small.  Jeff paraded me around like a fancy personal shopper, piling clothes on Benjamin as if he were a footman.  Even though space was tight, Jeff is not timid.  I would point, he would "excuse me" his way in there like a pro.  Maybe all the ladies who left their husbands at the door (yes, there were a few loitering about out there)  were shocked at a man voice in a girl store.  I am sure that a bunch of people waited a long time to get a fitting room while I was busy testing Jeff's selections one-legged.  I finally ended up with Denim Skirtand a cute fall shirt (which has been slashed $4.50 since).  I rarely have good luck shopping when I actually have the money to spend, so I was really happy.

Mall Museum, yes small, but yes there is a museum in the mall.  Use the outside entrance between Nordstrom and the mall and the spiral staircase (or elevator) will take you there.  I passed through the metal detector with flying colors, nary a beep.  Hey, wait; is it even on?  I doubt that the scooter is surgical steel, I am thinking lightweight aluminum.  I guess we didn't look dangerous enough to turn those puppies on.

Trip Three:  Church.  What could be a bigger spectacle than crutches?  I knee scooter of course.  All the kids in Primary think that this is the coolest ever, even better than me showing them my x-rays for sharing time.  The older boys wanted to know how fast I could go and if I had tried any hills.  Do I look like Tony Hawk?  NO, I am a sissy mom who was ultra careful before my crazy break, no hills for me. They were disappointed in me, but really I lack the proper training facility.  The cracks in the sidewalks are danger on this scooter and there isn't really a place to get up speed without rocks or cracks.  I laughed at them, silly boys.
Epilogue:  Sunday night, I dreamed about cruising on the knee scooter on the river trail near Bridal Veil Falls, going fast and downhill.  Awake, I wondered "I was wearing a helmet right?"

Sharing, Sharing That's the Thing to Do... Public Foray #6

Last Sunday, I made my first foray back to church.  I hoped that I was ready for the event because church is a major undertaking at 9 am with all your limbs.  I got up early, had a whole-grain cheerios breakfast, shaved my legs -- yes even the broken one that no one would see, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, put on my giant boot and was ready to roll--back into bed.  Wow, what an easy Sunday.  And then it hit, Jeff was in bed, the kids had no idea where their church clothes were and we had only 25 minutes to go.  I will admit that I grumped everyone into action, especially the boys that threw their shirts in the back of the closet after church last week and required me to attempt yet another first, ironing.  Did I mention that I was doing Sharing Time?  We made it 10 minutes late and miraculously there was a bench only three rows up. That NEVER happens.  Nothing like walking in late, except doing it on crutches really is more distracting for everyone.  Lucky for us, they were in the middle of singing.  I was more than a little embarrassed and tears were stinging my eyes.  I dearly hate being a spectacle.  I was in no mood to feel the spirit or do a seated song and dance for the Primary kids.  


Our Sharing Time was themed "Jesus healed the sick,"  and I am just the sick person to teach it.  I had been reading for the past week in the New Testament and found that this time something new stood out.  In Matthew, nearly every chapter from the time that Christ ended his 40-day fast until his arrest--  he was healing someone.  I got a new picture of people streaming in and following everywhere he went to be healed.   Just remembering my scripture study started to chisel away at my negative attitude.   I talked about this with the kids and how doctors didn't know very much and couldn't do very much in Jesus' time.  Which was a nice segue for me to talk about breaking my own leg and how it couldn't heal on its own, so the doctors had to use an idea of using screws and plates.  I showed them my x-rays, bolts and all.  The little kids were speechless for about 10 seconds, then hands shot up all over the room because everyone needed to tell me about how they or someone they knew had broken something.  One little boy told us about how his dad fell off the roof and broke his foot.  Wow, ouch.  Well, no sympathy from the 3-7 set.  I bet when their parents asked what they learned in Primary, they only said that 'Sister Macedone is screwed up."  A lesson to us all, kids get distracted by gore.  
Senior Primary fared better.  I had the good sense to ask if any of them had broken a bone from the get go.  They didn't care for much but seeing the screws and bolts, hmmm-- too many video games? Lesson 2, more sophisticated audiences want more gore?  I had known that this group would need more examples.  We talked about the priesthood power.  I shared a story from General Conference from Russel M. Nelson (May 2003).  I guess I like the anatomy-based teaching too, because I thought it was only a couple years ago.    He talked about a man with a heart problem that couldn't be fixed with any of the surgical techniques available.  The man went to then Dr. Nelson and told him that he had prayed and been led to Elder Nelson as the man who would fix his heart.  He encouraged Elder Nelson to pray to know how it was to be done.  In the very moment, Elder Nelson was directed where to make stitches, folds and cuts to repair the man's leaking valve. Don't worry, I was sure to point out the repaired valve on the heart diagram that I had brought.  The kids were riveted.  A couple kids shared personal experiences of someone being healed.  It was really cool to feel the spirit so strongly and my day could be turned around by the spirit so easily.  I think that is party of being "easily entreated,"  allowing the spirit to drive away your stress and negativity.  All in all, a positive foray.

People of Wal Mart: Public Foray Number Two

I am sure that in one way or another you have witnessed the comedy inherent at Wal Mart.  The tattoos, exposed flab and crazy outfits.  Perhaps you've seen that very large yelling mother with several disheveled children shouting commands from her Wal Mart issued shopping scooter.  That is my personal favorite that came back to haunt me today.  We opted for the least busy of our two non-local Wal Mart stores.  Jeff had called ahead to see if they had a wheelchair that I could use.  Of course they did, the disabled have every right to low low prices!  It was Saturday and crowded,  I regretted not asking for a temporary handicapped parking permit.  Crutches make everything seem far way.  Jeff pulled up to the curb and went to retrieve my wheelchair.  He came out of the store with a big GRIN on his face riding on an electric shopping scooter.  UGGGHHH, I took a quick look at the kids-- a little dishelveled.  Great, I am nearly that mom.  Don't worry, all my pet peeves directed my actions:  I did not run into the back of anyone's ankles,  I did not use the horn (all though Jeff begged), I didn't use any sort of loud voice.  Despite all that precaution people stared like crazy, doubtless some thought about pulling out their cell phone cameras. (It was a slow day for freakiness).  Right between lunchmeat and cheese, I saw another woman with a broken leg riding along like me.  Our eyes met, we checked out the footwear and smiled.  She pulled up and we chatted.  Turns out she fell down the stairs... in the splits.  Her back leg was jacked.  She tore the back of her knee and her ACL, and broke her fibula.  Hey same break, what do you know.  We laughed and wished each other a speedy recovery.   After that people still stared, but I had two happy thoughts: One, I didn't get hurt at home, and as such don't have to look at those bleachers every day and two, my knees both work.  Yea, for bendablity.